A New Beginning

We recently moved into our new home that we have been building for the past seven months.  We have loved it!  One especially unique blessing that this new house has presented to us is the opportunity for a new beginning - a fresh start.  Of course we are starting new with our physical surroundings, but with this move I also wanted a new beginning and fresh start in both my individual and family life.  Over the past year and a half the debilitating affects that depression has brought about in my life have created such upheaval that I feel as if my family is having to literally rebuild a foundation.  My children, particularly my oldest child, has most directly felt the ramifications of a mother who has been ill for an extended period of time.  It's difficult to assimilate the realization that my family has been so greatly affected by an illness that I was suffering from.  I've had to remind myself on many occasions that the best I could do in my situation, was to not give up.  I  had to continue to implement different methods of treatment to find a good combination that worked for me. And I've had to continue to practice and apply the principles that I've learned in working with a professional counselor.  But most importantly, I couldn't give up.

In a study conducted by the All India Institute of Medical Sciences they found some very interesting information in relation to depression.

"The WHO-funded study looked at the ‘disabling effects of depression’ on 200 patients who were attending the Out Patient Department (OPD) at the Department of Psychiatry at AIIMS. For over two years, the patients were monitored and assessed thrice before coming to the conclusion that depression can affect the productivity of a person much more severely than physical disability.  

Depression is highly common and according to WHO by 2020, it would be the second-most prevalent condition worldwide. Depression affects more people than HIV or road accidents. The disease usually brings with it a high level of disability,” said Dr Rajesh Sagar, Assistant Professor, Department of Psychiatry, AIIMS who conducted the study.

The chief objective was look at the ‘disabling’ factors that come with various mental illnesses. Besides depression, patients with five other mental illnesses like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, dementia and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), were part of the study.
Among all six illnesses, the disability levels of patients suffering from depression and schizophrenia were found to be the highest. 

Among patients who were monitored during trial, 43 were suffering from depression. The promising find was that almost all patients improved after one year of treatment.When the bouts of depression were severe, the disability too, was severe. But as they continued with treatment, their depression scores reduced. Small things like refusing to socialise, not going to work, no concentration or inefficiency are all factors that count as disability and put the patient out of action,” added Dr Sagar. 

According to experts, the study is significant as it establishes the severity of mental illnesses in comparison to physical illnesses. “People usually do not consider mental illnesses, especially depression, as a handicap. While someone without vision or with a physical handicap can be happy and efficient, depressed people cannot perform their duties and hence their condition is worse than a physical disability,” added Dr Sagar." (Krishnan, Vidya  "Depression more debilitating than physical disability: AIIMS study, Indian Express.com)

I am not qualified to claim an accurate opinion comparing physical and mental ailments.  I personally have not walked in the footsteps of a blind person or a physically handicap person.  I believe that each of life's adversities bring with it different challenges that only the Savior can truly understand.   I have a great admiration for the individuals who carry the burden of any one of these physical ailments and I would love to emulate the courageous traits of so many of these faithful people.  I in no way want to minimize the challenges that physical ailments present to so many people, however I believe this study is applicable for the sake of promoting a better understanding of depression, and shedding additional light on how this mental disorder truly affects it's sufferers.

As I have fought my personal battle with depression, I have dealt with the debilitating affects that accompany it..  I have awoken to many days of struggling just to get myself out of bed.  I have felt the overwhelming heartache and despair of a mother and wife who could barely maintain and care for the basic needs and necessities of her family because of  the crippling affects of depression.

I have had times of such an extreme lack of energy and motivation mingled with such deep feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness that many of my day time hours were spent much like a physically ill person.  Many of the simplest tasks felt like insurmountable mountains to climb.  For me to even get my kids a bowl of cereal or to put dishes in the dishwasher, at times was an overwhelming obstacle.

I had a difficult time talking with and connecting to others.  I didn't feel capable of relating to elements outside of my world of darkness and despair.  Concentration and decision making became very arduous.  I couldn't think clearly.  I felt as if fog had encircled my mind, creating a barrier to navigate my way to added mental clarity and understanding.

As a result of these debilitating affects of depression, I've had to really work on adjusting my way of thinking and doing things.  Two predominant concepts that I consider to be important in coping with the debilitation of depression are first, the idea known as "do nothingism."  And second, grasping the concept of properly prioritizing.

David Burns in his book "Feeling Good The New Mood Therapy," discusses the components of the "do- nothingism" concept.  He said:

"One of the most destructive aspects of depression is the way it paralyzes your willpower.  In its mildest form you may simply procrastinate about doing a few odious chores.  As your lack of motivation intensifies, virtually any activity appears so difficult that you become overwhelmed by the urge to do nothing.  Because you accomplish very little, you feel worse and worse.  Not only do you cut yourself off from your normal sources of stimulation and pleasure, but your lack of productivity aggravates your self-hatred, resulting in further isolation and incapacitation.

If you don't recognize the emotional prison in which you are trapped, this situation can go on for weeks, months, or even years.  Your inactivity will be all the more frustrating if you once took pride in the energy you had for life.  Your do-nothingism can also affect your family and friends, who, like yourself, cannot understand your behavior.  They may say that you must want to be depressed or else you'd  'get off your behind.'  Such a comment only worsens your anguish and paralysis.

Do-nothingism represents one of the great paradoxes of human nature.  Some people naturally throw themselves into life with great zest, while others always hang back, defeating themselves at every turn as if they were involved in a plot against themselves.  Do you ever wonder why?

If a person were condemned to spend months in isolation, cut off from all normal activities and interpersonal relationships, a substantial depression would result.  Even young monkeys slip into a retarded, withdrawn state if they are separated from their peers and confined to a small cage.  Why do you voluntarily impose a similar punishment on yourself?  Do you want to suffer?  Using cognitive techniques, you can discover the precise reasons for your difficulties in motivating yourself.

In my practice I find that the great majority of the depressed patients referred to me improve substantially if they try to help themselves.  sometimes it hardly seems to matter what you do as long as you do something with the attitude for self-help." (Burns D. David, Feeling Good the New Mood Therapy, p.81-82)

I came to recognize the benefit of abiding by the "do-nothingism" concept.  If i could get myself up and doing something I could usually find greater satisfaction in the act of "doing," than I originally thought I would or could.  The key to this, is finding the strength to get up.  Even if what is accomplished is perceived to be very simple and insignificant, it's at least a step in finding some satisfaction and sense of accomplishment in the act of doing.  I found for me personally that I typically struggled more with negative thoughts and I felt more emotionally insecure on days that I couldn't find the strength and willpower to get up and do something.

Knowing that I had limited strength and energy, I learned to recognize the importance of properly prioritizing.  I use the word properly because depending on our various individual circumstances our priorities shift.  As we go through different seasons and experiences in life are priorities tend to fall into different levels of importance.  It is up to each of us individually to determine the proper place of our priorities based upon our circumstances.

I personally believe there are certain principles that should always be top priorities.  These consist of our relationship with God and our Savior, Jesus Christ, and our relationship with our families and ourselves.  Beyond that I believe each of us according to our personal situations may vary in the way in which we choose to prioritize.

To take this idea even a step further, we can learn to properly allot time and energy spent in any given area by becoming more familiar with and aware of our personal perspective in relation to our changing circumstances. 

For example, you may be used to reading a chapter in the scriptures everyday.  But perhaps in your individual circumstances it is more proper for you to read only one page in your scriptures and spend more time on your knees praying.

Consider a situation in which you have a previous extended family commitment.  However,you also have a child who is struggling and is in need of the listening ear of a loving parent.  Instead of rushing out the door to get to your extended family commitment, you decide to take the opportunity to sit down and talk with your child who is longing for the love and understanding that only a mom or dad can offer.

Envision yourself as a dutiful relief society teacher.  You love to prepare lessons with hand outs and you must have a decorated table to set the tone for the lesson.  However, if you also acknowledge the difficult and time consuming personal situations that have overtaken your time, the importance of finding the additional hours for hand outs and table decorations diminishes.  In this situation you've recognized that if your lesson is prepared with love and prayer under the direction of the Spirit, it won't make any difference whether your table was adorned with beautiful decorations, or you crafted the most creative hand outs.

I am a person who loves to be of service to others.  However, I have found myself in situations when I have placed so much effort and time into serving, that I found myself drained and depleted.  I left little time to nourish and care for myself, leaving me all too often unable to accomplish other things that were of high importance to me.

I am a great advocate of self care.  I haven't always been.  I admittedly clung to the wrong perception of what caring for myself truly meant.  I think many times we, including myself, envision caring for ourselves as being selfish.  We think that taking time to nourish our own mind, spirit, and body demonstrates an unwise use of our time.  That of course can be true if we spend so much of our time doing things for ourselves that other areas of our life become neglected. The ideal is to always strive to maintain balance. With that being said,  I also think it's important to understand that there will likely be circumstances in our life when it may be necessary to spend more time caring for ourselves than we otherwise would.  During these times it's imperative to remember that selfishness involves a disregard for others; it's purpose is to satisfy or meet one's personal needs without concern for the welfare of others.  It involves an "all about me" attitude.   That is not the purpose behind or the reason for nourishing and caring for ourselves.  We care for ourselves not because we are selfish, but because it is healthy for us - mentally, spiritually, and physically.  We won't be able to fully appreciate the benefits and blessings of service if we are neglecting to care for our own selves.

President Harold B. Lee once said, “You cannot lift another soul until you are standing on higher ground than he is” (“Stand Ye in Holy Places,” Ensign, Oct. 2008, 47).  In order for us to be able to stand on higher ground, we must take the time and the initiative to nurture our mind, spirit, and body.  As we do this we will find that our capacity to help lift others to higher ground will dramatically increase.

I've learned to recognize that for the sake of my health, I can't live a fast paced life.  I have to be content with a medium paced lifestyle.  I've learned that I have to take care of me and that's okay - and even healthy for me.  I've recognized that I can't allow undue stress to consume me, or else I will soon feel the aftermath in the form of depressive symptoms.  This may be a life long pursuit for me to continue to discover and rediscover how to cope with clinical depression.  In the eyes of the world and their perception of my outward struggles with this illness, I could very likely be classified as one who has digressed.  However, if you ask me, I would suggest just the opposite.  I have had to adjust my priorities in a new and different way that might not appear appealing to others around me, but they work better for me in my situation.  The understanding and knowledge I've gained through my experiences have given to me a deeper testimony of eternal principles that are irreplaceable.  This has been the component that has allowed for me to gain a greater capacity to love, forgive, serve others, and to more fully emulate our Savior.  To me, that is progression!

Thank you Mormon Women and Mormon Times!

I want to express a heartfelt thanks to Michelle Linford, the editor of mormonwoman.org and to Emily Jensen from Mormontimes.com for featuring a post from my blog on January 3&4, 2011.

In my battle with clinical depression, I have come to recognize what a lonely tribulation it can be.  There are those who through lack of understanding, still cling to the stigmas associated with depression, and believe in the many myths that continue to plague this illness.  And yet there are still many others who want to help and understand, but they aren't quite sure what to do or say, so silence prevails.

Because depression can cause such devastating feelings of worthlessness and overwhelming hopelessness, depression sufferers may feel like they are alone in their struggles, which then can continue to validate their feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness.  Depression is a serious illness and can even be life threatening.  Therefore, I believe it becomes even more important and vital to it's sufferers to feel understood and to recognize that they are not alone in their struggle.

As I began to find some relief in my personal battle with clinical depression through proper treatment, I felt a strong desire to share with others my journey.  I was reluctant in the beginning to have my name associated with my blog.  I didn't know if I was capable of allowing just anyone to know that I had been fighting a very difficult battle with clinical depression.  However, as I began to have more confidence in myself and my purpose for creating this blog, I soon became more comfortable with the idea, and just recently included both my name and picture on my blog.

The spark that created the desire in me to share with others my journey came about for several reasons.  First, as a way to express my gratitude for the "angels" that have helped carry me through this trial.  Second, to create and promote a better understanding and perspective of those who struggle with clinical depression (as well as anxiety).  Lastly, I felt a strong desire for the need to be open with my experiences through this trial, in order to help others carrying the same burden to recognize that they are not alone in their battle.  I believe that sometimes the Lord expects us to share our own personal experiences in order to bring some light and hope to other of God's children.

Thank you again to the good ladies at Mormon Women and Mormon Times for their kindness and the opportunity they created for my blog post to reach many others who are sharing my same struggles.  I have found additional strength and  peace as individuals have in turn shared with me their experiences with clinical depression.  I've heard the accounts of several faithful people who continue to press forward in their personal battle.  Thank you for sharing with this daughter of God your faith in Christ.

~Ariane

You can find the link to both of these websites listed below:

Mormon Women:

http://mormonwoman.org/2011/01/03/finding-the-light-from-within-an-lds-woman-writes-about-her-depression/

Mormon Times:

http://www.mormontimes.com/article/19176/Battling-clinical-depression

"Understanding Depression"

WebMD had an another interesting and informative overview on understanding depression.  I love to gain additional insight into more fully understanding depression.  I hope that you too will find some good and helpful information from this article.  The link is listed below.

INFORMATION FROM WEBMD
 
Depression Overview Slideshow
 
http://www.webmd.com/depression/slideshow-depression-overview
 
To view, click on the address above or copy and paste it into your Web browser.

"Myths and Facts about Depression"

I received an email today from WebMD.  They featured some very insightful information about what is and is not true about depression.  Because depression is still misunderstood in many ways, I thought sharing this information might offer a different perspective to many who may not understand what depression is and how it affects the individuals who struggle with it.  The link is listed below:

INFORMATION FROM WEBMD
 
Slideshow: Myths and Facts About Depression
 
http://www.webmd.com/depression/slideshow-depression-myths
 
To view, click on the address above or 

copy and paste it into your Web browser.

 

Understanding the Gifts of our Savior

The Christmas season seems to stir within our minds and hearts increased feelings and thoughts of compassion, joy, love, and cherished memories.  But for some it can also be a time of intensified feelings of loneliness, sadness, guilt, and hopelessness.

As I have taken time to reflect upon this past year, I've been reminded of many things that have transpired throughout the year.  My husband through the course of the year, worked on and finally completed, his final courses for his Master of Health Administration degree. He graduated on December 10th, and we all celebrated the excitement of this accomplishment and new milestone for our family.

Another life changing event in our family happened in June of this year.  My husband and I felt like it was time for our family to move from the home we had previously bought seven years ago.  This was not an easy decision for us, as we had grown to know and love so many dear friends and neighbors, so when our house sold in only one week, it took us for an emotional spin.

After a lot of pondering and searching, we finally settled on a neighborhood where we began the process of building a new home.  While our new home is under construction we have been renting a house, where we have had many memorable (more than I care to remember) experiences involving rats, broken appliances, and a lot of spiders.  We are very excited and feel very grateful for the blessing we have of being able to move into a new home, which we are anxiously anticipating within the next few weeks.

As I have taken a trip down memory lane of 2010 I have imprinted upon my mind additional experiences that tug at my heart and vividly remind me of the reality of adversity and trials.  I understand through my own personal trials, the feelings of despair and hopelessness as I have fought the battle of mental illness.  These vivid reminders have taught me to better recognize and empathize with those around me; to more fully understand the difficult feelings that accompany many of life's trials.

Although I have made significant improvements throughout the year, my family and I are still experiencing some ramifications of my struggles with mental illness.  It is difficult to maintain a household and family structure when mom isn't capable of functioning at a normal level.  As I battled with many days of hopelessness and despair it became a struggle for me at times just to get myself out bed to take care of the basic needs of my family.  Today we are still dealing with the affects of my illness as we now are trying to regain some normalcy within our home and family.

However, considering that the purpose and reason for many of our trials is for us to become better, stronger, and more faithful, I can't fail to mention the blessings that I've gained as a result of my trials.  As we celebrate at this time of year the birth and life of Jesus Christ, I have taken time to reflect upon the wonderful blessing that this knowledge has brought to my life.

Through my personal adversities I have come to realize a deeper understanding of the Savior's love and sacrifice for each and everyone of us.  I've come to more fully recognize the Lord's awareness of all of us and the reality that He knows each of us personally.

My husband's aunt once shared with him her favorite adult Christmas memory, which I believe solidifies  the knowledge of our own personal worth in the sight of our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ.  In her words she related the following experience:

"We took our Young Men and Young Women to feed the homeless at the homeless shelter the week of Christmas, but first we had to make 450 sandwiches.  We counted sandwiches after we had them made and came up 100 short. So we ran to the store and grabbed more bread and meat and made the 100 more.  We got to the shelter in Salt Lake and were overwhelmed by how many people were there, it was such a good experience for not only me but for the kids (they still talk about it to this day).  When we were done handing out the food, the director came to thank us and told us we had fed a record number of people that night (600), and we had only made 450 sandwiches. But wait a minute that's not the end of the story.  After we were done taking kids home me and another leader decided to go Christmas shopping at Toys R US.  When we got done shopping we went to put the packages in the back of my Explorer, and lo and behold I let out a scream, there were two big garbage bags full of sandwiches. I scared the woman to death that was with me.  We couldn’t believe it, and we fed 600.  We went home and decided to call the Road Home overflow shelter which is not too far away from my home and told them we had 100 sandwiches we needed to find a home for. The woman on the other end of the phone just started crying and said she couldn’t believe it, she had just gotten word that a bus load of 100 were coming and needed to eat.  They had a few things for them to eat but nothing to make up the main part of a meal until we had called.  The miracle of the loaves of bread and fishes does still happen."

Does the Lord know me personally, and you personally?  The answer is yes!  The Lord was very aware of the personal needs of these individuals without a home or food, and He is very aware of  each of us and our personal needs.  Sometimes it takes faith, time, and trials to be able to see and recognize this blessing in our lives.  But He has given us the assurance that He is always there.

"I will not leave you comfortless:  I will come to you....Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."  -John 14:18&27

As I have contemplated all of the events of the past year, I can most fully express with overwhelming gratitude my strenghtened knowledge of the most precious gift we have been given.  Only through my trials have I come to more fully appreciate the sacred nature that the understanding of the love and example of our Savior Jesus Christ has given to me.  It is my hope that through my strengthened understanding and knowledge that I too will share this gift with others as a token of my gratitude and expression of my love to our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ.  How grateful I am for this Christmas season, in which we commemorate the birth and life of our Savior.  And, how blessed I am to have the knowledge that our Father in Heaven knows me, and all of us personally, and that through His Son we may all find happiness and healing. 

"There's A Place For Us"

Many times I have asked myself the question if there truly is a place for me?  I think it's a natural feeling for anyone at times to question where their place is, where they belong, and what their personal value is. We all have the innate desire to feel like we belong, and that the individual that we are is in fact a worthwhile person who is loved and valued.

Sometimes our earthly experiences can thwart our understanding and knowledge of our true value.  Particularly individuals who battle with clinical depression.  Anyone who has fought this battle, can testify that it truly tests your belief that "there is a place for you."

The feelings of darkness, worthlessness, inadequacies, and failures, can completely engulf individuals who suffer with severe depression. These crushing thoughts and feelings can quickly leave it's sufferers to forget that they in fact  were created with unconditional love and with a very personal and individual purpose.  These distorted thoughts create deep feelings of hopelessness, which if not challenged and treated properly, can create suicidal thoughts and tendencies.  For anyone who is currently in this position, please seek out proper treatment.  Talk to a trusted friend or family member.  Talk with your Bishop or religious leader.  If needed call 911, or a confidential suicide hotline.  It is vital for anyone having suicidal thoughts to receive proper treatment.

For myself, proper treatment included counseling with a professional therapist, finding the right combination of medication, gaining understanding and knowledge of mental illness, and seeking out spiritual guidance and inspiration.  As I have combined treatment from each of these individual and varied sources, I have been able to once again understand and believe that "there is a place for me."

Some individuals find relief and/or recovery quicker than others, however, it is so important to not loose hope.  In the midst of depression, it is difficult to be able to even envision a happier and more worthwhile you.  Please remember that your worth has not changed.  You will always be a worthwhile individual who is a child of a Heavenly King.  Your thoughts may tell you differently, but as you continue to hold on, and seek for hope, you will again be able to see your divine value.

President Uchtdorf, a member of the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints said:

"Think of where you came from.  You are sons and daughters of the greatest, most glorious being in the universe.  He loves you with an infinite love.  He wants the best for you...

Our destiny is greater than we can imagine.  If only we understood who we are and what is in store for us, our hearts would overflow with such gratitude and happiness that it would enlighten even the darkest sorrows with the light and love of God, our Heavenly Father.  The next time you feel unhappy, remember where you came from and where you are going.  Rather than focus on things that dampen your thoughts with sorrow, choose to focus on those things that fill your soul with hope. You will realize that these things are always connected to serving God and our fellowmen.  Remember that the Lord has given you His word in the scriptures.  Pray earnestly to Him; talk with Him daily.  Learn of Him, and walk in His way.  Serve God and serve your fellowmen.

It is my earnest prayer that the knowledge of who your are and what you may become will fill your souls with the peaceable love of God and that this will ignite within you a happiness worthy of your true heritage, for in truth you are princes and princesses, kings and queens."

It too is my prayer that we all will recognize the divine and royal heritage that we each hold.  As we come to more fully understand and recognize this, we will know that,  "there is a place for us," and that "exactly who we are is just enough."

******USA national suicide hotline number is 1-800-448-3000******

Finding the Light from Within

When I was a kid I went on a tour through Minnetonka cave.  The tour guide lead us diligently thorough the cave along the lighted pathway.  Scattered throughout the cave were these amazing stalactites and stalagmites.  As rain would fall upon the roof of the cave, drops of water would trickle down through cracks in the roof and form these fascinating formations.  

At one point along our tour, our guide gave us an unforgettable experience.  For a few seconds he turned off all of the light that had allowed us to safely navigate our way through the cave.  Without any natural or man made light, the darkness was overwhelming.  It was so dark that we could not even see our hand held out in front of our face.  The darkness completely engulfed us.

Much like this cave, clinical depression can turn what was once a lighted pathway into a blinding darkness.  I use the word blinding because in the depths of clinical depression the darkness that engulfs an individual can become blinding.  This blindness is not a physical impairment of the eyes, but rather an impairment of emotions and thought processes.  These impairments of the emotions and thoughts can be so severe that it leaves one without the ability to see the valuable and worthwhile individual that they are. Trapped in this  darkness a sufferer of clinical depression can soon forget that there even once existed a lighted pathway.  The blindness that consumes them can quickly cause its sufferer to loose hope that they will ever find their way out of the darkness of the cave, where they once again can find light.

A clinically depressed person is also much like the stalactites that I saw hanging in the cave. They can be very fragile.  They must cling "tite" to the ceiling of the cave to avoid the possibility of falling and breaking. When depressed, an individual too must cling "tite"; week to week, day to day, and even hour to hour.

There have been many times when I have felt so deeply inadequate and worthless that I truly believed there was something inherently wrong with me. I would try to pinpoint what exactly it was that caused me to feel so worthless.  Was I not nice enough or giving enough?  Was I too quiet or maybe just plain boring?  Or maybe I just had an unlikable personality.  These thoughts rang even more true to me, because I had what I believed to be valid reasons to prove their truthfulness.

I struggled so much with these negative beliefs, that even looking at others blogs or facebook pages became another reminder to me of my inadequacies and my worthlessness, which would constantly send me spiraling down.  I eventually had to make the decision to stop viewing blogs and to close out my facebook account for my own well being.

However, as I continued to cling tight as these stalactites do,  the darkness that surrounded me began to fade.The dark cave I was trapped in, did not suddenly become illuminated with light, but I began to find the light within myself.  This occurred over a process of finding proper medication, attending counseling appointments, and of course through the atonement of the Savior.  I once again have began to see my value and worth, allowing me the ability to work on rebuilding my self esteem and confidence.

One of my favorite scriptures that has become dear to my heart as I have battled to correct this blinding darkness, is found in Doctrine and Covenants 78: 17-18.  It reads:

"Verily, verily I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you; And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along.  The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours."

I am as that little child who is working on understanding what great things Heavenly Father has prepared for me.  I cannot bear all things now, but I do have the knowledge that the Lord will lead me along, and that I will be blessed.

One of the blessings that I have been given is the knowledge I've gained through cognitive behavioral therapy.  The focus of this therapy is to learn how to challenge the negative and distorted thoughts that consume the mind of individuals suffering with clinical depression.  The key to successfully responding to this therapy is to find positive thoughts and reasons that prove the negative thoughts and perceptions to be untrue. Going through this process of challenging the negative thoughts allows an individual the ability to better see the positive proof, which in turn broadens their ability to not only challenge the negative, but to also more fully believe in the positive.  As I have worked on incorporating these principles as a part of my healing process,  believing in the positive, has been a vital part of rediscovering the light within myself.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

our deepest fear
is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually who are we not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people
won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine as children do.
We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And when we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others."

- Marianne Williamson

This quote hung on my fridge for several months.  It served as a reminder to me to learn to love the person that I am, and to let my personal light shine.  We are all children of God and as we more fully come to recognize that, the light within each of us will radiate. We will be more fully capable of challenging the negative thoughts and perceptions and believing in the positive and valuable qualities that allow us to love and believe in the person that we are.